Wednesday, June 9, 2010

The Journey through Possibilities

The challenges and elusiveness of defining and finding personal goals and journey into personal fulfillment – reconstruction-is fraught with questions and more questions. A friend of mine on Gist says that in order to change or take up and activity there is a process to go through. She wrote that you have to satisfy the want to want to do something before you will actually do it. There is one thing I want and have wanted for a while now and ready to achieve it. I know it is a process but I am ready to be on the way and to know that I am. I really want to feel like I have figured out and am doing the things(s) that enriches my life. I still need to find and engage in it. Possibilities?!

I am doing some things to help me to sort through the mind field of interest, activities, situations and circumstances that I find myself in. I am thinking, exploring, questioning, researching to find the avenue, the path but still searching. I have not gotten to the place or stage where I will let go; throw caution to the wind and explore all of the thoughts and ideas in my head, in an organized way, to try to come up with what could possibly make me happy and fulfilled.

Perhaps finding answers to the question of the type of risk taker, I am, or how much of a risk taker one need to be to succeed in this journey may be a place to start. I guess immersing myself, all levels, in finding this desired goal which is still nebulous is what I don’t know how to do. Am I too cautious? Do I want to hold on to a life jacket, training wheel as I proceed? Am I making a BIG to do about nothing? Am I where I need to be but need to understand it and acknowledge seeing the light? Am I just caught up in the grass is greener over the maybe septic tank syndrome? I want to do something else, I want to feel like I am doing the best that I can do for my universe, for me, and feel in harmony with that reality. It feels like I am not making progress even though time is passing and I want to do this.

What to do now, next? I know the various adages, phrases and idioms about letting go and let God, the universe or a higher power take control but in a real deep and practical way, how do I do that? Is age and responsibilities a barrier? When one lives on a shoestring with no buffer, is that a deterrent to taking the necessary risks to be able to see and go forward? Is it lack of faith or trust that the universe has me? How do one operationally let go, put one foot in front of the other believing that you are doing the right thing? How do you plan for, accept, and rebound if you find that it is not. What is hitting rock bottom mean? Is that a part of the process to this realization.

Where is the compass, the road map, the check and balance, the guideposts? How can I find them and use them to find my way.

What is courage, how do you apply it or how does it fit in? Lioness, lion hearted where art thou.

What is your process. How do or did you get to that place in your life?


Donna, Doni, Lady D said...

Baby steps, Philly, baby steps. That is what works for me. First I accept and surrender. Then I 'let it be'. Stuff bubbles up ... it takes time. If there is anything I have learned it is the fact "I can't rush the process." "It is what it is." No matter what a hurry I am in - - Ahhhh, Life Philly. Believe it or not, you are just where you are supposed to be. In the right spot!

patty said...

Hi! How funny to see Donna over here - small world! I can so relate to so much of what you are saying and asking here. I have been following my creative path for about 8 years now and in some ways I feel like I am starting all over. I have met so many amazing women in the last year. When I started out, I was pretty much going it along. I feel like now, with the support of all these beautiful souls, that no matter which way I end up turning, there will be support there. And so much inspiration, stimulation, other points of view, etc. It's a wonderful thing! Thanks so much for stopping by my blog - the fact that you stayed long enough to read more that one post - well, I'm so honored!!

Donna, Doni, Lady D said...

Friends meet in the neatest places. The Universe doing her work. : o )

philly5113 said...

Donna, youre so cool! Thank you. You have been inspiring. Thanks Patty for the inspiration too. Yes, the force is with us. I trust that we will continue to find support, stimulation and wisdom in this journey.

Thank you both, P.