Going North and South on I-95 Says Reconstruction

As I work at the personal reconstruction that I am trying to move forward, more and more I encounter things that confirm for me that filling this void is possible and achievable. I have to unravel the ideas and like a jigsaw puzzle put the pieces into place to reveal the picture, the plan, the goals.

The last couple of days I have traveled up and down I-95 South to take care some a family matters. A few weeks ago, I traveled upstate on I-95 North into Massachusetts to pick up one of my daughters from school. I traveled south to see about Momma. I got my coffee, a raisin bran muffin, and some water and hit the road.
After about an hour and a half or so into the trip up north, I got my rhythm and flow. I am settled into the ride and thoughts, eyes, and position are all in sync. Looking out at the expanse of nature, the various hue of green, the beauty of the peaks and valleys and roadways and bridges, humans and animals all intertwined and intersecting as I went along. I thought to myself how wonderful it is to be here, now, even with my anguish and confusion of the paths to choose at this point in my life. The road was open, free, stately, majestic and consuming but leading me with clarity and purpose. I thought; wow, the universe is awesome and it will show me the way.

Getting to this point in life feels like situations in the movie the seven-year itch. The mid life crisis scenes where there is no satisfaction from the usual and the familiar and the routine. In this case however this inquiry is all about finding a purpose. I am grateful for this opportunity to reflect, appreciate this life, my children, my family, friends and for so, so much goodness and graces. Even so my human-ness still is restless and dissatisfied in all its essence and seek something more, something else. My dreams, hopes, and desires can be as real as the towns and the animals and the hills and meadows I saw along the way.

Looking out at the landscape is very telling. It is inviting me to opening new vista and feeling of enthusiasm, desires, and assertion of yes I can, I can actually be what I still have to. The rolling hills the houses on top of manicured grounds and the multitude of terrain and gardens say yeah go for it! So with thinking and knowing that I want change, I still need to know what, how, where.

I am thankful for a safe trip and successful outcome with Momma and the move and the storage and the trip back home. We are all happy to be home again and I have a new energy to push forward with open mind and no boundaries.

Congratulations Graduates of 2010

Congratulations Graduates 2010! I salute you.

This is truly an occasion to celebrate and enjoy the fruits of your labor. As you move through these next days, weeks and months remember the joys, sweat and tears that brought you through and again celebrate. Remember the joys, the pride the sense of accomplishment and satisfaction you felt as you walked down the aisle for your diploma and scream yeeessssss! I did it. I am! Keep these memories close and dear; re engage all those strategies, connections and hard work to again catapult you to and through these next stages and phases of your life and careers. Continue your winning ways.

Be thankful for the goodness, grace and blessings that have been yours through out the years. Gratitude will sustain you.
To all of you supporters, stakeholders, lovers, mothers, sisters, brothers, aunts and uncles, grand parents, neighbors, celebrate because this too is your time to shine. Reflect, celebrate, and know that this is still a beginning, a new beginning and you are an important part of the continued journey.

This is such a wonderful and blessed time in your lives. Celebrate.

I congratulate all and wish you much happiness and continued success!

To My beloved Ashley, My dearest April, My friend Candida, graduates of 2010! I salute you. Walk tall, walk proud. I love you!

Graduates everywhere, wooohoooooo! You did it! Take a bow I salute you.

Personal Reconstruction in Progress - Stay Tuned!

As time goes by, it seems inevitable that one will stop to wonder, or something will occur that forces you to look inwardly and determine where you are in the scheme of things of your life, and assess how you feel about where you are. This is check up time for me. I have to make some decisions, take some actions and rearrange or refocus to find the way to get to where I feel I ought to be. Are you in that space now too?

The task for me is thinking, knowing and doing. The thinking is figuring out what is the deal and what is the direction. Should I stay on track, what is the track, or should I switch to some thing else? How will I know what ‘the thing’ I should be focusing on is at this time? For some people it is clear, for others, including me, the knowing is an elusive thing. There are so many competing interests, it is hard to choose or know what actions to take. This is personal reconstruction or renovation time and it is challenging but necessary.

This process of personal reconstruction is the hardest thing to do. It is like mid-life crisis. So much swirling around in your head, who am I, what do I want to do now, where do I belong, what color is my parachute, what is important, what is next? What do you do or how do you get to the knowing to all these questions and enrich your life?

I have to agree and remember that time is short and there are not many opportunities for do over’s or to achieve satisfaction with life activities and achievements. My tasks and my desire is to do more of what makes me happy and that which takes me to where I want to be in terms of my living and quality of life. I have to find my angle and get after it because life is grand I want to make sure I enjoy every minute. At this juncture however, I feel a void and a longing and I must find out what it is and do it!

So this is where I am now; knowing, believing and doing. Going from knowing to doing is also a challenge. I still need to know what I really want to do with myself, in all areas of my life. Figure out the barriers and then start to chip away at them, one by one. The doing is and will be a hurdle in itself. I have to get there. I have to do something.

When was your last check up? Are you living your dreams? Rise up and celebrate the living by doing you.

I am taking this journey because I have to be true to myself. Stay tuned!

Happy Mother's Day to You

Happy Day to you and the Mother's in your life. Blessings.